The Breakup

I am dedicating my first blog post for Purposely Rooted to someTHING I broke up with a year ago – my scale. Yes, that might be a little odd thing to have a breakup with, but like most breakups it had been a long time coming.

As I’ve reflected on this wellness space I’ve thought back over my last 20 years to why I had and have been so interested in nutrition and exercise. And for me, a major reason was athletic competition. However, body composition over-rode that passion as I moved through my young adult years. And I think those things go hand-in-hand. I had/have never been the thinnest but I had always been one of the most athletic, and in my screwed up mind, those things were of value to my worth.

So here I am writing to you about my breakup with my scale, because it’s something over the years that I have looked at to determine my worth. I thought being vulnerable about my thoughts and feelings might help you – maybe you’ve felt the same? 

• Stepping on the scale in the morning and determining how much or little you can eat that day
• Fretting about why your old jeans didn’t zip up like they did before 
• Thinking you weren’t a representation of a athlete because you didn’t have abs 
• Having thoughts of your weight dominate your mind and put you in a blue mood
• Being uncomfortable about pictures where your pooch is showing 
• Making yourself get up in the wee hours of the morning to get in that workout even though you didn’t get good sleep or weren’t recovered from other activity

And so on and so forth. I have always been focused on being a “healthy” eater and have been dedicated to my exercise, however my purpose was to be thinner. For me, there was a number in my mind (from my early 20’s) that I thought I should be at (even though I struggled staying at that weight when I was younger). No doctor told me that was my number – it was something artificial I made up in my head. Now, I am rooted in nutrient dense foods, exercise and wellness practices so I can live healthier and longer. I also made peace with my body. Learning about Ayurveda and doshas has helped me in this area, and the understanding that we were all born with a predisposition to difference sizes (Kapha / Pitta over here). And now I have a new understanding for my body type and have an appreciation for others as well. 

So back to the scale. I haven’t stepped on my home scale since November 2019, and when I go to my doctor’s appointments I <try> to look away to not fall back into old habits. And guess what, I am so much happier for it. I have faith that my diet of nutrient dense real foods, my activity level and my de-stress techniques will keep my body in a healthy range.

So here’s your challenge – if you’ve read this far and can relate – can you take a “break” from your scale and think about what other markers help define health to you?

— Sara